EXPERIENCES WITH DIVINE LOVE

Here is My Testimony

As far back as I can remember, I've always had a fascination about God and spiritual matters. In the first decade of my life I attended various churches and was even baptized twice by the time I was 14 years old. My freedom to explore spiritual thought is attributed to my mom's influence to not thrust religion down my throat. Coming from a Protestant background, I recall my mother, Helen, telling me her family used to threaten her with fear of hell and damnation that she eventually left her hometown to start a new life in California just to get away from her relatives.

To my good fortune, my mother wanted me to find God in my own way, and so I did. Not that she didn't add her own two cents now and then such as "don't take the Bible too literally" which sounded sensible to me at the time and allowed me to question and to seek God not only in the Bible but elsewhere. Why not, God is a big God; why should He be confined to one book.

Just before finding the messages, I was listening eagerly to preachers, waiting in anticipation to hear what my ears were not hearing. I would pray earnestly to God, asking Him to please reveal the Truth about Himself since my soul was convinced I was not getting the whole Truth, as if some important detail was being left out. Soon after my prayer request to God to show me the way, I found "True Gospel Revealed Anew by Jesus", which I am convinced is a True account of Jesus' life and teachings. In fact, I found the messages twice in one year and in two different places, which was very interesting since finding these rare messages is like finding a needle in a haystack.

"Seek and ye shall find" was an important ingredient for me in finding these Spiritual Truths, as well as the willingness to be open in the way God chose to bring that Truth to me, and to let no boundaries of fear or ignorance stand in the way. Sacred doctrine is not always a good thing if it restricts the freedom to question, ponder, and dispute spiritual matters. Through these Messages of Truth, we are moving towards a new spiritual awakening of who God is and how we can become closer to Him.

But my real adventure in spiritual unfoldment didn't really begin until I started practicing what Jesus and the angels wrote through Padgett. I remember my first experience in receiving God's Divine Love after praying for the Love, which presented itself like a warm glow in my heart just as the angels informed Padgett. Eventually, my spiritual faculties opened up to a certain degree, wherein, I experienced spiritual visions and angelic encounters, one of whom was the spirit of my mother, now an inhabitant of the Celestial Heavens.

Today, I have no doubt that life continues, and that I have a soul and spirit body that reflect my soul condition. Moreover, I know that God exists, for I have perceived His Presence and His Attributes of a Real Loving and Caring Father who is not far off in the universe waiting to condemn us, but is very near, a heart beat away, waiting in the wings and knocking on the door of our hearts to come in and share His Love and Spirit with us.

Throughout the years, it has been reinforced on my soul consciousness that to Truly know and feel God's Presence, one must obtain the same quality of heart as God, and that can only come by receiving and possessing His Divine Love, an everlasting pure Love. In my fourth decade of life, I'm still praying and growing in His Divine Love with the realization that the best is yet to come.

Many Blessings in His Love be with you,

Rev. Holly Bianco
23rd July 2009

What the Divine Love has meant for me.

The date was Sunday, August 14, 1994 - it was a day of reflection, a day of searching. I had just gone to Bible study in a small town in Texas. As I was driving along the long dusty road to my small farm house, I remembered the times past and I was saddened. I recalled the younger days when I was free, free from worry, free from "life's" expectations. I was but a soul, living for the moment, soaring on the winds of change. I thought to myself that my life had never been as peaceful and happy as it was when I was a boy. I didn't know how to reclaim that peace. I had been going on dates, to bible study, to parties looking for that lost key. I tried and tried but to no avail: something was missing. But what?

I had many questions with no answers. Why was I placed on this earth? I didn't feel as though I belonged. Why was I pursuing a higher education, was it the thing to do? Sure I enjoyed what I did, but how did it fit in with God's plan? I was confused as to my existence. The only thing that I knew that was right and True was my Love for God. I wanted nothing else but to be with God. I cried out to Him with fervor, asking Him to take me into His arms of Love. I was asking to leave this plane of existence.

Needless to say, He didn't grant my prayer. Or did He? After my tenure in Texas I had several job prospects around the country. I asked for guidance and my heart led me to Chicago. I had no idea why I was going to Chicago. Most of my family lived there but the job was insecure and offered little pay as compared to my alternatives. Yet my instincts told me to go to Chicago. I began work at one of the top institutions in the world studying evolution. My optimism quickly faded as I began interacting with scientists who believed the only god was the god of science, and that immortality meant being published. My search led to local churches and the World Wide Web, a network connecting millions of souls throughout the world.

I started to search the web for answers. Answers to my spiritual questions. I soon realized that my exploration was not going to be easy after a search. On the word "spiritual" brought up hundreds upon hundreds of web sites. And of course every web site had a different take on the spiritual realm and the existence of God. So for the next several months my free time was spent surveying the contemporary viewpoints of religion. I read about ancient Mayan prophecies, the secrets of Atlantis, global ascension, Christ Consciousness, and sacred geometry just to name a few. The amount of metaphysical and spiritual sites and viewpoints was staggering. One day, however, I happened on a site that mentioned something called Divine Love. The author wrote of a man named Padgett who was chosen by Jesus to communicate the spiritual truths to the world. Mr. Padgett apparently communicated with Jesus through his gifts as a medium. I wondered, is this possible? I read on and as I continued I became transfixed on the messages. Mentally, the messages made complete sense: Our Loving Father providing a way for His Children to come into His Arms of Love through Love, and not some blood sacrifice. Spiritually, the messages were the answer to my prayer. Back in Texas I asked for God's Love and believed the only way to Truly receive His Love was by leaving the physical body and entering into the spiritual world. Now I have come to know a wonderful opportunity, an opportunity to be in the Arms of God's Love while living in the flesh. Needless to say this newly discovered opportunity changed my life. Already I have noticed differences; what I deem important and how I interact with other mortal souls. No longer am I defensive towards the negative views and attacks from others. I am now aware of how my thoughts and actions affect others. No longer do I want to die. Sure, I look forward to becoming a Divine Angel in the Celestial Heavens, but I am now learning to accept who I am, and where I am, along the path of salvation. Rather than living for the future I am starting to enjoy the moment.

My aspiration has always been, since I can remember, At-onement with the Lord. Having discovered the teachings of our Master Jesus, my "aspiration" is no longer some intangible event to be reached far in the future, but a way of living, a way of thinking, a way of acting, a way of loving and being Loved. I thank our Father for the opportunity to receive His Divine Love. I thank Jesus and all those who devoted their time to spreading the word of his message.

God bless you all,
Dr. Rev. Michael Nedbal
November 26, 2000

My Encounter with Divine Love after a Long Journey

At a very difficult time in my life, I was searching the Internet for information about the soul and stumbled upon a web site containing something that I never expected to find, Messages from Jesus, no less, and from other Celestial Spirits. In my earlier years, I became interested in, and practiced an Eastern Philosophy (Buddhism), for more than 16 years. Later on, I joined a Metaphysical Church and also did some research on Huna, a Polynesian religion. These philosophies seemed, then, to contain answers to many questions I had, but which the Christian religions did not satisfy. I believed, though, that Jesus was a great philosopher himself, but that his true teachings were misrepresented by the Churches. Though Buddhism taught us that there were many gods in the Universe, acting as protective forces, and not only one God, I had accepted this point of view with some reservations, as I sensed that there was only GOD. But I found logic in the theory of reincarnation, taught by this doctrine, since it seemed to explain many aspects of life that I could not, otherwise, understand. Yet, for some reason, I continued to ask the Universe to reveal the Truth to me, and, to the best of my recollections, I yearned for this since my early teens.

Somehow, the messages from Jesus and the other Celestial Spirits caught my attention in such way that I was convinced that, in response to my souls searching for Spiritual Truths, I was prompted by these Angels to find and read their messages. I read them with amazement, every possible moment that I could find.

In so doing, I could grasp, from their high spiritual content, and especially, from the very detailed account of the spirit world, that these messages could not have been originated from any human mind, or even a spirit imposter, but from a higher source, or as purported. I had before learned about communication between mortals and spirits, so the concept was not far-fetched. With this discernment, my interest grew more in these writings.

Though what I had read was very convincing, one morning, after reading yet more of the messages, I ascended my thoughts to Jesus in a very sincere manner, somewhat like this, as I recall: Jesus,if these messages really came from whom they are said, you and others in the Celestial Heavens, then surely you can hear my thoughts and can send me a sign which I will clearly understand. Please confirm that these messages did not come from someone trying to impersonate YOU, but are, indeed, from YOU and your followers in the Celestial Heaven. Although, these messages are of high spiritual content and it is hard to believe that such information could have even been conceived by any human mind, still, I would appreciate your confirmation. Please forgive me for questioning you, if you are, indeed, the source of these messages.

Well, after having this conversation with Jesus, I continued with my daily task and had completely dismissed the thought from my mind, as, perhaps, I really did not expect to get an answer. Approximately one hour and a half later, my phone rang and I was unable to take the call at the moment. Upon checking the Caller ID later to see who had called, the Caller ID displayed: JESUS PEOPLE US. I was in shock! I clearly understood that this was the answer to my question, through a sign that I would understand. I could not utter a word for a few seconds as I paced in my room, totally dumbfounded. Three or four days later, I called the number displayed, in order to find out who was the person that had called me from that number. The first words I heard was a recorded message saying: JESUS LOVES YOU. I was, then, absolutely sure that I had received my answer, not only the sign I had asked for, but to my search for Spiritual Truth. I was taught before that the Universe or our Guides do send us signs (messages) all the time and that we just have to learn to understand them. Jesus had given me a sign that I could understand!

Many times when reading the messages I felt as if they were actually talking to me, or answering questions in my mind, the very moment upon opening the book and choosing a message. Amazing!

Although each and every message is a source of high spiritual knowledge and inspiration, I have been touched by many, but in, particular, would like to cite an excerpt from one of Jesus messages entitled, The Only Way to the Kingdom of God in the Celestial Heavens in the Angelic Revelations of Divine Truth, Volume I:

THEN, AS I HAVE SAID, THIS DIVINE LOVE OF THE FATHER, WHEN POSSESSED BY THE SOUL OF MAN, MAKES HIM, IN HIS SUBSTANCE AND ESSENCE, DIVINE LIKE UNTO THE DIVINITY OF THE FATHER; AND ONLY SUCH SOULS CONSTITUTE AND INHABIT THE CELESTIAL OR DIVINE KINGDOM OF GOD. THIS BEING SO, IT MUST BE READILY SEEN THAT THE ONLY WAY TO THE CELESTIAL KINGDOM IS THAT WHICH LEADS TO THE OBTAINING OF THIS DIVINE LOVE, WHICH MEANS THE NEW BIRTH. THIS NEW BIRTH IS BROUGHT ABOUT BY THE DIVINE LOVE FLOWING INTO THE SOULS OF MEN, WHEREBY THEY RECEIVE THE VERY NATURE AND SUBSTANCE OF THE FATHER, AND WHEREFROM MEN CEASE TO BE THE MERELY CREATED BEINGS BUT BECOME THE SOULS OF MEN BORN INTO THE DIVINE REALITY OF GOD

These words and profound teachings expounded by Jesus are very convincing, and through my soul-perception I feel the Truthfulness in them. I was also taken by the beauty of The Prayer that he wrote for us, to pray for the Divine Love. There was something special about it, and simply Beautiful, as never before I had seen.

Through my daily and earnest prayer to the Father for His Divine Love, I sense that connection, as I grow stronger in my Faith and firm resolution to follow this path. I give thanks with all my heart and soul for the precious gift of this knowledge, and for my souls ability to recognize and accept these teachings as True. I have, indeed, had a life changing experience.

In my awareness of the of great importance of our souls development, I sincerely pray that more and more of our brothers and sisters will be awakened to the Fathers Divine Love, in the knowledge that it is the greatest gift that any mortal, or spirit, could possess.

Geraldine Cousins
March 30, 2008

My Testimony

My journey to a True relationship with God was, and is, a long, and erratic one. Not that, that was bad. Because all experiences tend to turn us, eventually, in the right direction. George Stokes said once that; "Our weaknesses become our strengths, and our strengths become stronger".

I was born to Marguerite and Russell Kenney in 1946, the first of seven children. They were both Roman Catholic. I was required to go to catholic schools the first 9 years of my school life, and the same for my sisters. My dad was in the military, so we moved frequently. I went to many different catholic schools. Some Dominican, some Franciscan, some Benedictian. I was exposed to many different priests and nuns. Some were very loving and dedicated to a spiritual life and to teaching. Some were mean and bullies. Just a cross section of human life.

Most of the schools that I went to, Catechism was the first class of the morning, and often in some schools, we went to mass in the morning before regular, if you can call it that, classes started. Because with the exception of math and science, courses like history and geography were heavily slanted to the "catholic" influences in the world. I am grateful for the education that I did get. They sure were very structured and disciplined classrooms, and there was excellent communication between parents and teachers. So I received an excellent education the first nine years. So much so that when I started public schooling, the classes bored me so completely that I didn't want to be there at all, which was one step further than when I went to parochial schools. I had studied most of the material many years before, and with such a depth that most of the public school classes were years behind.

Anyway, first thing in the mornings, some of the things that I was introduced to were the concepts of "We are all created in the image and likeness of God" and "God is Love". That our purpose was to "Know, Love and Serve God in this life and the next".Also "To Love God with thy whole heart, thy whole soul, thy whole mind and thy whole strength". This of course with and from the churches view of the Gospels and Epistles of the Catholic Bible.

Of course with these were the doctrines and dogmas of the church and the mysteries of God and the church. Such as; the "holy trinity", communion "The body and blood of Jesus", baptism, confession, confirmation, etc. Enough to confuse anyone, much less a young child. I learned their versions of prayer (the Our Father, the Hail Mary prayers). But so often my prayers were just the repetitious kind, just to get through the rites, rituals and ceremonies, or, to do penance after confessions. But sometimes, I went to church to commune with God, or to seek intercession from Mother Mary, or Jesus, to ask for help and direction. These times I often felt a sense of connection to God, that my prayers were more "heartfelt". Rarely, during these times did I say formal or repetitious prayers, but just talked with God from my heart. I did this because of the insanity and madness in my home life. My dad was prone to physically abusive outbursts towards my mother and me. My mother was prone to psychological abusiveness towards my dad, myself, and my sisters.

I have said all this, not to be long winded, but to set a background to my spiritual growth experiences.

Often, I spent a lot of time wondering, or daydreaming, about what I was being taught religiously at home and at school. At about 9 or 10, I must have been agnostic. I didn't really know whether or not their really was a God. One afternoon, I was by myself in a large field, wondering and daydreaming again, and I stopped and screamed at the sky, "I don't know if you really are there, but I want to know!" in a desperate way.

Something immediately changed. I was not so aware of the material world around me. I was in some kind of an "altered state of consciousness". I was aware of soft gentle voices in my head giving me information. I was flooded with it. To this day I do not recall everything that I was told. However, it was well established within me that God existed. That God was the Creator. The part that I do recall is, that it was pointed out to me, in a way of explanation, or something that I could relate to, that God had created the human body perfect. That not even doctors completely understood how it worked. I had a very clear perception of the Truth of the statement. That statement is as True today, 55 years later, as it was then. There are still greater understandings of the human body and the human being today.

After that experience, some of the kids at school started calling me "bright eyes". It confused me why they were doing so.

At about 12, I was very strongly considering going to seminary and into the priesthood. After one 40 hour devotion, where I had volunteered for many time slots on the schedule for being on a kneeler in the chapel, and using the time to pray a lot, just the "talking to God from my heart" prayers, I had the strong impression not to pursue the priesthood. That was a little confusing as well, because I had a strong sense of "the calling" to serve God.

The next 7 years were mostly about adolescent growth. Then I went into the military service. Again a guided situation, as I volunteered for the Air Force, rather than get drafted into the army and war on the ground in Vietnam. With my new found freedom, began drinking and sexual exploration. These activities brought a beginning sense of emptiness and disconsolation. There was not very much of any spirituality in my life.

By the time I was 26 I had been married, fathered a child, divorced, with a young lover who betrayed me, almost shot in a gunfight where a man got my gun out of my holster, and I had almost shot him with another gun. I became very conscious afterwards that I did not ever want to kill someone. Although, in my mind, I considered myself a coward, and experienced considerable shame. I must say here that during the whole surreal incident I was somewhat aware of my spirit guides or guardians guiding me and protecting me. I was fired from my job shortly afterwards.

And there I was, alone, as I thought. I began to drift through my life rather aimlessly. I was in great crises as to who I was, or what life was really all about. I began to drink more and more often, often being drunk. This went on for about a year, I becoming more and more depressed.

Then I went with my sister and her new boyfriend on a journey to the west coast. This was the beginning of almost 4 years of traveling around the country. During these four years some of the Truth I was looking for, as an understanding of life, began to appear in my life. Mostly in the form of books, as I was not very socially inclined. I felt like a misfit.

The first book that had a profound influence upon me and was radically different from my religious or spiritual upbringing was the "Autobiography of a Yogi" by Paramahansa Yogananda. I also recall a book on soul travel called Eckankar. More and more often books would seem to appear right in front of me, or my attention was drawn to them. I read the Aquarian Gospel of Jesus the Christ, The Essene Gospel, The Fourth Way by P.D.Ouspensky, The Urantia Book (which I promptly put down), the writings of the "Ascended Masters" through Elizabeth Clare Prophet, some of the "White Eagle" channeling's, I recall something about the writings of "The Great White Brotherhood", and Carlos Castenada's first book, which I promptly put down, and the writings of Meher Baba, and various other writings of the eastern philosophies.

Needless to say, my search for something, something that would give me answers, or make sense to me, were guided. Although I wasn't always aware that it was what is called guidance. I didn't call it a search for Truth, but more a search for meaning, or purpose.

In about 1975 my brother-in-law, Marty Ketterman told me in Santa Cruz, CA. that he had met some people who were talking about "Divine Love". About a year later, Michelle and Marty took me to a church service in Ben Lomand, CA. I was at the time about at the end of my wits, having spent another year of considerable drunkenness and depression. I don't recall much of the talk, or sermon. What I do recall is that at the end of the service, about 70 people held hands in a circle and prayed "The Prayer Perfect", as I soon learned it was called. I did not know the words to the prayer, but as I listened they inspired my soul. The power and force of the Love in the room was so palpable that I wept. I felt a great love flowing in and around me. I recall feeling like I had "come home". This situation happened several times more during or after services, which I regularly attended. Marty and Michelle let me use their copies of "True Gospel Revealed Anew by Jesus". They also introduced me to George and Kathryn Stokes. George always said that in studying the messages, that it was important, or necessary to pray for the "Divine Love" prior to studying the messages, as prayer would open up the souls perceptions of the Spiritual Truth contained, and place the soul in ascendancy over the material mind, as the Truths could not be understood by the mind. That became my practice.

I do recall one day that I was hanging out on the cliffs above Capitola that I heard, very strongly, the thoughts "go to East Cliff and see George". I almost didn't believe it. The same thoughts were repeated, and then, "You will have to hurry, they are getting ready to leave". I hitched a ride straight to the East Cliff offices, and went in one of the front doors. George and Kathryn were sitting there with Amy and a young fellow by the name of Adam. I told George that the spirits had told me to come see him. He did a Neuro-Psychic check out on himself and then said to Kathryn "Its true". He then told me of his vision as to my future. We did leave East Cliff very shortly afterwards and went to Rev. Michael and Deborah Holmes house.

To make a long story short, I continued to pray as often as possible throughout each day, as this was the advice given by the spirits in the messages. I longed for the At-Onement that the messages spoke about.

At about two years(I had been without a drink or a drug during this time) into this journey I had made it a practice to go for long walks on the beach from 17th Ave in Santa Cruz, Ca., around the bay to Seacliff Beach and then back to Capitola, Ca., rather than go to the community potlucks. One Sunday I was getting back to Capitola Beach. There was a very large piece of driftwood (about 3 ft high) sitting on the beach. As I walked by it, after praying most of the day, I started to feel the spiritual energy, the Divine Love very strong. All of a sudden, I recall feeling my spirit body. It was like a big goose down parka, all around me, a feeling that my body was expanding. (It is very difficult to express experience, but I'm doing the best I am able.) The energy of the Divine Love was increasing. Then, I was in my spirit body and out of my physical body. I was in this very intense silver-white light. I was being escorted by a very bright spirit. I seemed to recognize the presence of Jesus, but it was too bright to see. Further and further into the Light we went. It seemed like I was going straight to God. At some point we seemed to stop. I was conscious that this energy was from God and that this was God's Love. It was indeed overwhelming. My prayers had been answered. I did not want to return to the earth plane existence, but i was told that i had to go back into my body. That, it was not my time yet, and that i had a spiritual work to do. I don't have any idea how long this journey lasted, but when I came back into my physical body and a semi "normal" state of consciousness, leaned up against the driftwood, the front of my shirt, and my face, were completely wet from the tears of Joy. I had the impression that this was the Pentecost, that I had heard about since my youth.

I will not tell you that this state persisted. I will tell you that for some time afterwards, weeks or months, I was in a state of perfect peace, or as some say a state of grace. I was completely happy for the first time since my childhood days of playing outside and a condition of wonder and awe, that I often had, despite the chaos inside our home.

About six months afterward I began to think that since I hadn't had a drink for about 2 1/2 years, and had learned techniques in Neuro-Psychics for attempting to get to negative beliefs and motives, that it would be alright for me to have a drink now and again. That I was somehow immune to getting drunk. See what "thinking" will do for you. I was off again on periodic episodes (they were months apart for quite a while) of drinking. When I drank, I got drunk. Let me tell you that this effected my ability to pray and stay in a spiritual condition.

By 1982, about 2 years later, I had been drinking everyday for about 3 months or so. In great dispare, I attempted to take my life. But once again the angels intervened. It was a failed attempt. I made some calls and asked for help. I also did my best to start praying again as often as I could. I got help and began to practice the 12 steps (a spiritual outline for spiritual progress based upon moral principals, self examination or inventory, prayer (for the Divine Love)and meditation). I have not had a drink in over 29 years.

I have found, in my experience, which I feel is the only True teacher, or way to really truly learn anything, that even with the Great Power of the Divine Love and daily communions with God, that for the Greatest Happiness to be achieved and maintained as a constant spiritual condition in this material Life, that it is necessary to have a daily practice of a process of "false ego" death. A thorough way of honestly asking ourselves the Truth of our motives, and removing, or a "renunciation" of the false beliefs and attitudes learned in life. This would be "integrating the Divine Love in our minds". Application of both the principals of Natural Love and Divine Love growth at the same time. Learning, through experience, what Love actually is. Developing an ability to manifest that in our everyday actions and interactions. I have found the 12 Steps to be an excellent way to do self-examination, or self inventory, as to the mental "false ego", and blocks to self love, the love of others, and the Love of God. The power of prayer for the Divine Love makes the process ever more quick, and effective, as the Divine Love develops the souls perceptions of Truth.

The Peace and Happiness is with me now almost all of the time. I continue to study the Messages from Jesus and Celestials. I continue to grow and expand my consciousness by God's Great Grace through prayer, and therefore my happiness. I am so very grateful to God and my Celestial guides and guardians, that I really do not have words to express the spirit of it. God, Truly is, Love. I know, beyond a doubt of mind that God, in His Love, is Merciful, Caring, Personal, Response-able in a direct way to all His Children, and at all times.

In all this time, I have learned that our helping of others is most effective when we share our very personal experiences, when necessary, in the most truthful and vulnerable way, that creates an atmosphere of trust, genuineness, authenticity, transparency, and warmth. These are found in psychotherapy to be the actual qualities, or attributes, that create human connection, and help others to have hope, or belief, that if someone else has risen from the depths of depression and despair, or any other human condition, that they might also, by using the same tools. They may then inquire as to the tools and experiences of the person sharing. Pretentiousness, lectures, teaching, and sermons in the most authoritative way are not effective.

Another brother and friend, Rev. Dave Kenney
1st November 2010

ENCOUNTER WITH GOD
Testimony of Patricia Doyle
Written 12/94; Revised 5/11

I swear to God that the following is all true.
I had never heard of a near death experience when I had one on October 26, 1974. It changed my whole life. It changed how I look at life, and what I want to do with my life. I have no fear of death now, but instead look forward to the peace and joy it will bring--and freedom from material bondage. I don't have a death wish, however. Instead I live life much more fully.
At the time of my NDE I lived in Shaker Heights, Ohio in a 3-family home. My husband and I lived on the second floor. We had tenants on the first and third floors. On the third floor, a brother and sister, Mike and Emelie (names changed), had lived there for twenty-seven years. They were in their eighties and Mike held the world's record at that time for the number of pacemakers put in one's body. About once a year Mike would have a heart attack, which would necessitate a new pacemaker.
One day while I was talking with Emelie, we heard a loud thud upstairs and quickly went up to investigate. We found Mike collapsed on the floor and he appeared to be dead. I immediately called 911 for help, and then tried to resuscitate him, but to no avail. Mike had not had a heart attack, but had died instantly of a stroke. In the weeks that followed, Emelie became very dependent on me for support and companionship.
Several months later we moved to Akron, Ohio for my husband's job, which meant selling the home in Shaker Heights. We took our time finding the right buyer, a very nice couple that was well informed of Emelie's situation and dependencies, and they were willing to help her. I set up a meeting for Emelie to meet the new owners, and when they arrived, I called her, which had been our pre-arrangement. But as soon as I identified myself and started informing her that the new owners had arrived, she hung up on me. I went to her door and knocked. When the door opened, there stood Emelie with a butcher knife raised above her head, and her eyes had a zombie-like, glazed-over look. She looked as if she was really crazy enough in that moment to plunge the knife right into my chest and face area.
All of a sudden a tremendous power came into the environment. I could feel it in me and it felt like it was all around me . . . a power so wonderful and awesome that it felt greater than anything I had ever felt. It was a loving presence so enormous it felt like all the love I had ever felt in my entire lifetime amplified by a billion . . . yet the Love that I felt from that power was greater than that. I could see that it affected Emelie as well, for the arm that held the knife began to slowly melt to her side and an expression of great calm and peace came over her. The situation was immediately transformed from threat of imminent violence to one of harmony, gentleness, oneness, and, predominantly, Love. I did not even have time to be afraid . . . it all happened in an instant. This Love transformed my very essence at the same instant.
I told the buyers of our home what had happened, and, although amazed at the experience, were not deterred from purchasing the home with Emelie upstairs.
Ecstatic experiences and revelations continued, and I felt an intense spiritual calling to communicate these experiences through visual art. My husband, a college textbook salesman, supported me in becoming a visual artist, yet could never fully understand or support my spiritual unfoldment. He couldn't understand the enthusiastic expressions of intense joy and rapture these experiences awoke in my soul. He talked me into going to a psychiatrist for evaluation, which, due to the nature of psychiatry at that time, had no diagnostic code for "spiritual or religious problems". According to an article in the Fall 1994 issue of the Washington Post entitled "The Spiritual Crisis Mode", this changed in May of 1994, clarifying for the first time in the profession of psychiatry that spiritual or religious problems are not necessarily symptomatic of a mental disorder. Psychiatrist Stanislav Grof, author of Spiritual Emergency: When Transformation Becomes a Crisis and The Stormy Search for the Self: A Guide to Personal Growth through Transformational Crisis, states in the Washington Post article: "We became aware that some of the experiences we've labeled as psychotic have been stages of transformation instead." Psychologist Emma Bragdon, author of A Source Book for Helping People With Spiritual Problems, states, however, that few therapists have any education or experience in recognizing or dealing with spiritual emergencies. Bragdon writes:
The extreme looks very much like psychotic breakdown....They seem to have manic behavior as well. Certainly there have been many people who have been misdiagnosed and treated inappropriately--which means they've been medicated or hospitalized, which obstructs what the spiritual emergence is all about.

This sounds almost identical to my own experience! The psychiatrist my husband arranged diagnosed me as having a psychotic breakdown with a manic condition. He recommended hospitalization for a few days of "rest", but when we got to the hospital, fortunately, there were no beds available. I was given an injection of Haldol, which, by the time we arrived home, was already beginning to cause intense muscle spasms in my back, arms, shoulders, neck and face, causing tremendous pain for hours, because I had been given a drug for a condition I did not have.
Although traumatized by this response to my spiritual emergence, my constant prayers and daily testing of the validity of my experiences left me with the realization that I felt more exuberant about life, love and being an educated, creative person than ever before. Above all this, I also felt a growing relationship with God and Jesus and an unshakeable faith in that Higher Love, which was so magical. I quickly left the psychiatrist in the dust, leaving him to figure out how to count past 1,000, so to speak. I didn't think we needed to be paying $75/hour for me to teach him about what was really happening to me. I knew my connection with God was good and healthy for me. It gave my whole life a purpose, meaning and happiness I had never known.
Following the calling to be an artist, I went back to college at Kent State University. I also continued to have numerous and varied spiritual experiences, inspirations and visitations, many of which have been channeled into artworks. These experiences, always accompanied by God's Love, have included impressions and visions regarding Jesus and a new version of the Bible or a separate new testament that would be directly inspired or written by Jesus. I know this sounds incredible, but in November of 1976, Jesus himself impressed me with these thoughts and called me to discipleship, and, however odd it may sound, to the ministry of the Foundation Church of the New Birth, even though I did not even know of its existence.
In March of 1980 my cousin, a chiropractic doctor in Encinitas, California, invited me for a visit. During my stay I felt a welcoming acceptance and understanding within my cousin's circle of friends and in the community at large regarding spiritual emergence. Feeling more and more drawn to this community and its supportive atmosphere, I told my husband of my decision to move there, inviting his participation. He declined. Sadly, yet amicably, we parted ways, ending what all who knew us considered a good, solid marriage, over spiritual and religious differences.
Three thousand miles away in Washington D.C., a young man named Jonathan Sperry had a spiritual experience guiding him to move to Encinitas, California in the same month and year. We kept crossing paths in powerful, magical and mysterious ways, and found out that we even lived on the same street. One day we decided to sit down and get to know each other, and as we each shared our spiritual journeys and experiences it became apparent we needed to talk further. The next time we met, Jonathan said he wanted to share a book with me that had been part of the culmination of his own spiritual journey, The True Gospel Revealed Anew by Jesus, giving me one of four volumes of automatic writings received by Esq. James E. Padgett. Having experienced the living spirit of Jesus to the limited degree that I had, I instantly recognized the writings as genuine, brought them to my heart, prayed to God in gratitude, received an inflowing of his Love, and then clearly felt the spirit of Jesus with us, whose presence I had felt little of since November 1976.
With this background, I have come, through my soul's perceptions and experiences of God's Love, to embrace The True Gospel Revealed Anew by Jesus, published and disseminated by the Foundation Church of the New Birth, Inc. I study the four volumes as most people study the Bible. I believe in the living Jesus, who is ready to come at any time, any minute, any hour, any day to any one, and has done so many times since his death.

How I Found God, Peace and Happiness

After spending two years in England and 15 years in West Germany, as it was called at the time, I returned to my homeland Barbados in the Caribbean in March 28th, 1980, with my four children, without my husband, not much money and not very happy.

I stayed with my sister at first for a little and then with my brother for a short time. I found a job right away but because of Jealousy on the part of those who were there longer than I was, I thought it best to give up the job; I really did not need the stress. I move on, in and out of jobs.

Things got really hard for me I could not even keep my kids together and I begin to feel like a failure.For two years I searched for happiness and peace of mind, which, I felt I desperately, needed, but could not find it anywhere, in anything or in anyone. I tried different Churches and Religions but none of them brought me the happiness and peace which I sought, although I was not exactly sure how and from where this happiness would come. There was just this restlessness and a longing within me that nothing would fulfill - I was longing for something but I knew not what.

My children, who were born in West Germany, blamed me for bringing them to a country that was foreign to them. They had to make new friends, go to new schools and try to get used to the language because they spoke more German than English and they too became very unhappy. Everything went downhill for me and I also started to blame myself for being a failure to my children.

I had always believed that there was a God, and there was Jesus, and I had not gone to church in about 16 years. So one day, after praying, I set off to find myself a job. To my surprise I found a job - because the manager had told me that he did not have any vacancies. Yet he hired me and put me to supervise a section of the Hotel. Although the distance meant a lot of bus fare and working nights sometimes, I took the job.

Now my prayers to God were to guide me to the church with the most and highest truths, because there was too much controversy over which church was the right or the best one.

However, I started my new job, and one day the receptionist invited me to go to her Church fete. I told her that I would think about it. But you see, deep down inside my heart, I knew that I would not be going because I had asked God to show me which church He would have me go to, so I did not go with her.

What I did not know then was that this lady belonged to the Foundation Church of the New Birth, and that God had inspired the manager to employ me so that I would meet this lady. (Sounds strange right?) This Church was not well known and had not been heard of by the majority of people in Barbados. That was in late 1981.

So, my search for happiness continued until April 1983, when one day through politeness, I was forced to play a game which I hated with a passion. The game was Pool. After learning the basics of the game, to my surprise I found that I was beginning to like the game!

In a couple of weeks I became quite a pool player and loved it so much that I set out to find a pool table nearer to my home so that I could play on my off days and at other times, and I did. Then one day I looked up from the pool table to see a man looking at me. It appeared to me as though he had been watching for some time. I paid him no attention and kept on playing. After a while I noticed that he was still there. He never attempted to smile or make any come-on-motions. He was just watching.

My game was over by this time and I started to leave. The man was still there when I reached the door and we started talking and then we exchanged names. I will call him H_. Then it was really time for me to go. He gave me a ride to the bus station.

From then on H_ became my pool partner and for the next three to four weeks I found that I was laughing and singing and enjoying myself more than I had done in years. He was a lot of fun and I fell in love with him, but that was not to be. One night, after a game of pool, he took me home and we sat and chatted for a while. During that conversation I told him that all I ever wanted was to be happy, and how unhappy I was, and that if I could be happy for only one week, it would fantastic.

H_ turned to me and said: "Brenda, What you need is the Divine Love of the Father." Well you can imagine my surprise, not to mention my ignorance; for I had never heard of Divine Love in my entire life. I asked him how, when and where. He then told me that he had a book in his car that I could read, and that if I liked and understood what I was reading, I could keep the book and if not, I could return the book to him.

In May 1983, H_ gave me the book. I read and studied it, and that book was the key to the door to a new life, new hopes, new dreams, and new beginnings, a better understanding of how one can achieve happiness and peace of mind beyond compare.

Ever since that day my whole life has changed as a result of reading and praying to God for His Divine Love, and, yes, I have found the peace of mind and the happiness, which my soul had so longed for. And let me say here, that to this day, I have never had to retrace my steps in any way. I am now filled with the Father's Divine Love, and I feel truly blessed.

In this process I have discovered who I am, what my task in life is, and where I am going. I have also found my true relationship to man and to God, our Heavenly Father. But this peace and happiness cannot be found in any material thing, for material happiness is only for a short time. It can only be obtained through the fervent sincere prayers and soul longing of a person.

I realized later that H_ was the second Angel sent from God to save me from myself and to show me the way to true happiness. But, the receptionist was the first Angel, whom I did not recognize as being sent from God. So, the Heavenly Father, in all His Love and Mercy found another way to reach me through the game of pool or billiards if you will.

That book was volume I of "The True Gospel Revealed Anew by Jesus" through Mr. James E. Padgett. These writings are through Spirit-to Mortal communications. More information on the volumes can be obtained from the Foundation Church of the New Birth Inc.

Rev. B.M. Foster